Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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