I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
