I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
