The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
