my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
