I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize