Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
