Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
