What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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