I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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