New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
