he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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