glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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