In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
