what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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