i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
and you fell through a lawn chair
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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