omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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