we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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