could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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