it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
