I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
