Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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