last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he fucked my hip out of place.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
