i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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