Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
