I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize