You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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