my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
