come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize