I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
