Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
