ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
