i think i have two assholes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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