I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
