every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
