I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
