Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
