but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
