Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
