went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
