Buhtt sex?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
