She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
