Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
