Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
