My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
