Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
