Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
