i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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