Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
