She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize