She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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