She announced her abortion via fbk
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
