I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
