Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
