Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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