I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
