every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
