We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
