Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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