Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
