Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
