you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
