sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
