how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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