so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
