nut hugger
My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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