he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
