4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
